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Didn’t know it would be this hard.

So… I decided 2018 would be my year. No more messing around. This year I would get something published. Then I came across a post on Facebook asking for authors who wanted to participate in an anthology. Here it is, I thought, my foot in the door. Not completely alone, and I’d have others to guide me on my journey. Got a little trigger happy signing up for these anthologies. Think I raised my hand for… seven or eight for the year. A big ask, but by George, go hard or go home. 

Six months on, going home sounds like a good plan. One has been published, one is set for release next month, but I am struggling to finish the next 2 which I should have completed by the end of June. My issue … nothing stays on script. As a pantser, my muse is constantly imagining every alternative, every what-if, and most of the stories get out of control, and word count is normally twice what I planned to write. My own fault, but I am struggling on a daily basis to a) fulfil my commitment, and b) still provide a story that I haven’t half-assed just to get it out there.

The other struggle… tuning out my inner editor. No can do. From the beginning of time, I’ve been one of those ‘get it right first time’ kinda people, and everyone says ‘just write, edit later’, but I am not wired that way. The first edited draft I got back had me in tears. All those errors, passive voice, incorrect tense, had me in tears and unable to face writing for over a week. I felt like a total and utter failure. With my next draft, my editor and muse argued constantly. Every word, every sentence is worked and reworked over and over, before moving to the next one. There’s nothing I can do to switch it off, once I know something (like passive voice is a no-no, as are adverbs), then I can’t unknow it and I spend so much time on the technicalities, I struggle to push through. This, in turn, drags out my drafts, frustrating and upsetting me further.

All I can do is continue to learn, hope I get better, faster at picking the right words the first time. So on that note, I must complete this final chapter. Ciao.

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1 Comment

  1. Have you considered writing with a speech to text and not looking lol. Some apps let you record so you won’t miss anything. You could do this on a walk or something so you aren’t tempted to go to your computer and edit.

    Also, I do a mix between pantsing and planning. I do a 1 minute mind map before each chapter. It helps me know where I’m going. It still goes where it will go, but not as far.

    Also, what genre do you write? Passive voice is how I have been told to write for contemporary romance. Good luck!

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